Friday, December 22, 2006
I'm sorry
The reason i asked you those questions...
Is because i wanted to know how important i am to you...
It's also because i planned to meet you...
To see you on 25th of December 0000 hrs...
Juz the two of us...
And before we part...
I want a hug...
Not too long and not too short...
Just to pay back those times that i couldn't see you...
And to see if we were close enough for that kind of simple hug...
The reason i turned the "tool" off...
was because i didn't want you see the sadness on my face...
during and after i asked those questions...
And when u said that u knew i would "do it" before we meet up...
Really saddened me...
Cuz you're one of the few important people in my life...
U fall in the category of those who i won't "do it" before
and during our meets...
And now... i'm apologizing...
If ever i was a burden...
Cuz i feel i am one...
If ever i was a nuisance...
Cuz i feel i've always been one...
For those time i made u sad...
"those"if in case there were times i made u not sad...
For those times i made tears well up in your eyes...
For still not being able to trust in you fully...
Cuz i dun think anyone can be this sweet to me...
For i feel that there's a part of you that detests me...
Since i've always ran to you for help...
Always coming to you with sadness...
and never happiness...
And never did i return the favor to you...
For never did you ran to me...
Hence... my doubt in our so called best friends friendship...
Even if i may not be able to answer your doubts...
I still want to hear them...
But right now...
It just seems like i'm forcing you to...
There's so much i wish to say...
Like in the middle of our conversation...
The reason i stopped halfway...
and not type a single word...
wasn't because i was doing something else...
i was looking at my monitor screen...
but it's just that tears welled up in my eyes...
and my heart ached too much...
because of the pain i've caused you...
And when you asked me how important you were to me...
The reason i paused...
Was because...
i couldn't find the right words to describe how extremely important you are...
The poems i made for you...
Words in it were all true...
And the promise i broke...
I made it in the first place because of you wasn't it??
I still bear the mark of that promise...
And the only reason i broke it 4 months later...
Was because i felt that you were no longer there...
You're...
Truly one of my Nakama...
To tell you the truth...
I'm sorry for typing this down...
It's just that it's in my heart for way too long...
I'm a guy who can't trust someone fully...
But i'm not sure why i can't trust you too...
Especially those sweet words you say to me...
Cuz it's hard to believe someone can be this sweet to me...
And she's only a best friend...
Moreover...
She's the only one i can talk from my heart...
Really sorry for this...
But... i hope that u could tell me the truth...
Were words from you true??
I wonder if i drag you down...
And if i spoil you mood...
I truly wonder...
Is because i wanted to know how important i am to you...
It's also because i planned to meet you...
To see you on 25th of December 0000 hrs...
Juz the two of us...
And before we part...
I want a hug...
Not too long and not too short...
Just to pay back those times that i couldn't see you...
And to see if we were close enough for that kind of simple hug...
The reason i turned the "tool" off...
was because i didn't want you see the sadness on my face...
during and after i asked those questions...
And when u said that u knew i would "do it" before we meet up...
Really saddened me...
Cuz you're one of the few important people in my life...
U fall in the category of those who i won't "do it" before
and during our meets...
And now... i'm apologizing...
If ever i was a burden...
Cuz i feel i am one...
If ever i was a nuisance...
Cuz i feel i've always been one...
For those time i made u sad...
"those"if in case there were times i made u not sad...
For those times i made tears well up in your eyes...
For still not being able to trust in you fully...
Cuz i dun think anyone can be this sweet to me...
For i feel that there's a part of you that detests me...
Since i've always ran to you for help...
Always coming to you with sadness...
and never happiness...
And never did i return the favor to you...
For never did you ran to me...
Hence... my doubt in our so called best friends friendship...
Even if i may not be able to answer your doubts...
I still want to hear them...
But right now...
It just seems like i'm forcing you to...
There's so much i wish to say...
Like in the middle of our conversation...
The reason i stopped halfway...
and not type a single word...
wasn't because i was doing something else...
i was looking at my monitor screen...
but it's just that tears welled up in my eyes...
and my heart ached too much...
because of the pain i've caused you...
And when you asked me how important you were to me...
The reason i paused...
Was because...
i couldn't find the right words to describe how extremely important you are...
The poems i made for you...
Words in it were all true...
And the promise i broke...
I made it in the first place because of you wasn't it??
I still bear the mark of that promise...
And the only reason i broke it 4 months later...
Was because i felt that you were no longer there...
You're...
Truly one of my Nakama...
To tell you the truth...
I'm sorry for typing this down...
It's just that it's in my heart for way too long...
I'm a guy who can't trust someone fully...
But i'm not sure why i can't trust you too...
Especially those sweet words you say to me...
Cuz it's hard to believe someone can be this sweet to me...
And she's only a best friend...
Moreover...
She's the only one i can talk from my heart...
Really sorry for this...
But... i hope that u could tell me the truth...
Were words from you true??
I wonder if i drag you down...
And if i spoil you mood...
I truly wonder...
what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 10:17 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words
0 people in the crowd heard my words